Warning Signs
by MercuryPilgrim
Summary: Bartenders all over the Seireitei are afraid of one thing and one thing only. Every so often, even the most controlled person snaps. Rangiku Matsumoto has escaped paperwork for the last time. One-shot.


_Disclaimer: _I do not own Bleach or any of its affiliates. Anything that you recognise is property of its respective owners. Any relations to persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

_Base/s: _Bleach

_Title:_ Warning Signs

_Summary: _Bartenders all over the Seireitei are afraid of one thing and one thing only. Every so often, even the most controlled person snaps. Rangiku Matsumoto has escaped paperwork for the last time.

_Music used for inspiration:_ Trouble – Pink (because it's just so Rangiku!)

* * *

Gorou Kotone, owner and bartender of the _Falling Lotus,_ winced as he saw an unfortunately familiar figure dash inside his bar. Now usually, he liked this person. They were reasonably polite, didn't cause too much trouble and spent a huge amount of money on alcohol. But when the person ran in as though she was running from something, he knew it was that day again. On days like this, he judged the severity of the situation from the person's facial expression.

When she looked normal, happy to be back, he wasn't worried. Then came the look of someone who was relieved to have made it. That set him slightly on edge and warned him for days to come. He had seen that look a week ago, it was a surprise it had lasted this long. The third stage of her expression was complete and utter panic and paranoia that slowly dissipated as she drank herself into oblivion.

Gorou had known from this morning that it was _that_ day. The weather was cold and storm clouds frothed unnaturally in the iron grey sky. Later in the day large, fat hailstones descended onto the unfortunate people of the Soul Society. A harsh wind whistled through streets and chilled those caught outside to the bone. These days only came around maybe once or maybe twice a year but every bartender was right to fear them. He got a lot of sympathy because his bar was one of her favourite places to go. He had hoped fervently that she would choose some other place tonight, but alas, his luck had run out. He's escaped last year but it looked like it was his turn again.

The other patrons, at least the regulars, looked nervous too. Those who weren't regular enough to know about their impending doom asked around. A few got up and left. Some brave, or stupid, ones decided to stay and watch the show.

He saw Hoshika, a new patron who seemed to have made the bar her home was asking Arata what the hell was going on. Arata, looking fearful and glancing at the door and at the person who had just walked in, explained to her in his hushed whisper.

Gorou realised he had been cleaning the same glass for six minutes now and reached for another one.

The woman who was the source of all this trouble seemed oblivious. Her friends also seemed to be disinclined to sense the danger.

* * *

Sho Youta led a group of new recruits to the main doors of the Academy. He wasn't quite sure what he'd done to get newbie duty but he was kicking himself for whatever it was. Giving the soon to graduate academy students a tour of the Seireitei was usually reserved for those who had earner the ire of the higher ups. As they stepped outside, they were hit with the biting cold and the hailstones crashed with unusual force to the street stones. Sho raised an eyebrow and sighed.

He turned to his companion, an annoying, rebellious little man in the sixth division.

"Looks like Captain Hitsugaya's pissed again." He remarked. Several of the recruits were listening.

"Sir? What do you mean? It's just a storm." One said.

Sho snorted.

"Just a storm? Nah, Captain Hitsugaya is the cause of this." He said with certainty. "We don't _get_ storms in the Soul Society. Unless the Captain is pissed, which he is. I bet the tenth division office is sub zero by now." He laughed to himself, thanking the gods he wasn't in the tenth right now. Hell, the tenth had a good reputation as being a good squad to be in. But when it's Captain got pissed, he _really _got pissed.

"I don't think I want to go into the tenth division." A little voice from behind him said.

"Hitsugaya isn't _that_ bad." He defended the young Captain. "He's a very good Captain. A genius, _and_ he wields the strongest ice type zanpakuto in the Soul Society." Sho genuinely liked Hitsugaya. Sho's sister was in tenth and she went on and on about how great her Captain was. It was hard not to like a person who made his little sister so happy.

One recruit looked doubtfully at the wild weather outside.

"C'mon, let's go." Sho said and strode out into the storm. Reluctantly, the recruits followed.

* * *

Rangiku Matsumoto knocked back the last in her glass and motioned the bartender for a refill.

"You're drinking more than usual." The bartender remarked.

She looked glum.

"My Captain's angry at me." She said.

"Oh?"

"I... sort of played a trick on him." She admitted, a slur in her voice. "I mixed superglue with his ink."

Gorou was praying for his life. Captain Hitsugaya valued his paperwork more than anything else. Mixing superglue with his ink... all the papers would be stuck together when he piled them. He just prayed his bar would survive and the damage costs wouldn't be too high.

Thunder rumbled and cracked outside. Wind rattled the windows.

A minute passed. Two. Then the temperature dropped dramatically. Ice crusted on the doorframe and the windows sheeted over like caramelised sugar. Their breath came in puffs of white and they shivered all looking towards the door.

Rangiku had her head resting on her crossed arms, apparently too drunk to notice.

The door slammed open. There was a collective intake of breath.

Renji Abarai stood in the doorway, panic on his face.

"Where is she?" he questioned desperately. He spotted the comatose Rangiku and hurried over to her. He shook her and she swatted him away.

"Shit!" he swore. "He's coming, Rangiku, we have to go! Now! I've never seen him so pissed! What the hell did you do woman?" he tried to drag her but she was a dead weight. He managed to get her out of the door before he turned and addressed the stunned barkeep.

"If _he_ asks, we didn't go this way." With that, he hauled the tenth division lieutenant out of the door and turned left down the street.

Slowly, the bar went back to a semblance of normality. Gorou kept looking nervously at the door, the ice still hadn't dissipated. He should have been here by now, something was delaying him. Gorou prayed for whatever it was. He wouldn't wish that fate on a hollow.

* * *

Sho wondered what he had done to get himself into these situations.

His group of recruits had been trudging around the Seireitei and had finally reached the leisure district. Pubs, clubs, health spas, everything was here.

And when he said everything, he meant _everything_.

Including an angry Tenth Division Captain.

They had felt the cold before they had seen the figure. Then when he saw the head of white hair, he quickly ushered the recruits away and tried to make his escape. No such luck.

"Youta!" The Captain knew his name? Sometimes he really hated that his sister talked so much.

Slowly, he turned around. His recruits huddled behind him.

"Yes Captain Hitsugaya?" he asked as though his teeth weren't chattering.

He distinctly heard someone behind him whimper.

"Have you seen my Lieutenant?" the diminutive Captain asked.

Sho shook his head, hoping he wasn't coming off as a wuss.

"No sir. I haven't seen her." He paused, should he? Probably best not to, but... "Sir, what has she done?"

He knew he needed to keep his mouth shut.

"What makes you think she did anything?" came the reply, frosty.

Sho gestured sheepishly to their current weather.

Hitsugaya smiled coldly.

"Yes, my apologies for that. I'm sure it will pass soon. Carry on Youta."

"Yes Captain."

Hitsugaya flash stepped away and they breathed a sigh of relief. Sho felt sorry for Rangiku Matsumoto, he really did.

The little voice spoke up again.

"I _really_ don't want to go to the Tenth."

* * *

Renji was wondering how one woman could possibly be so heavy. And so much trouble.

As he dragged the dead weight of a tenth division lieutenant down the street, he looked for suitable places to hide. He was just delaying the inevitable he knew but he had to hope it would die down.

As they passed, windows were slammed shut, frightened faces peeked out and hid again if he looked at them.

Doors shut and closed signs were hastily put up. Renji was getting desperate.

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

The hailstones increased in intensity.

He had a brainwave. Hmm, it might just work.

* * *

Gorou breathed a sigh of relief when Lieutenant Abarai let the door slam behind him. She was gone, they were safe.

Then eleven minutes later, hell descended on the _Falling Lotus._

Once again, the door slammed open and Gorou, feeling more relaxed now that the source of his nerves had gone, looked up lazily to see who it was.

His heart almost stopped.

"Where is she?" It wasn't a question. It was an order.

Those who hadn't looked around the first time almost injured their necks as they did so. The bar was silent. Even the drunks at table nine had gone deathly quiet.

"I-I don't k-know s-s-sir." Gorou stuttered. He dimly thought that he must have looked stupid, a grown man cowering before a figure that looked no older than thirteen. But the figure was not thirteen and there was no shame in cowering before this person.

"Why not? I was under the impression that this place is a favourite of hers." Hitsugaya remarked, casting an eye over the inside of the bar. Patrons shivered as his gaze wandered over them.

"I-I..." Gorou took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "She hasn't b-been here all evening."

"Lying to a Captain are you? Not a very good impression you're giving me Kotone."

He knew his name! And he knew he had been lying to him! How?

"Ahh I-I-I, w-well... I-" he stuttered, tripping over his words.

"She was here. Her Reitsu signature is all over this place. Then..." Hitsugaya concentrated. "She left with someone." He concentrated some more, ignoring the horrified looks from Gorou. His eyes narrowed. "Abarai." He growled out the name.

Gorou flinched. Damn Soul Reapers and their freaky powers.

"Which way did they go?" The Captain demanded.

Gorou prayed for his soul and he shook his head. She had better appreciate this.

A cup of Sake froze solid and the small captain's temper spiked.

"Where. Did. They. Go!" He roared. Gorou winced, this had to be believable.

"I-I-"

Hitsugaya, in a strange feat that no one really knew how he accomplished, grabbed Gorou by the lapels and pulled him closer.

"I will give you one last chance." He hissed. "Tell me which way they went!"

Gorou didn't speak, he knew if he did then the Soul Reaper would be able to tell he was lying. So instead he just pointed.

Hitsugaya released him.

"My thanks." And he walked out of the door.

Gorou slumped down and sat in a heap, resting his head on his bar. He steadied his breathing. He was never doing that again.

* * *

Renji watched as the diminutive Captain left the bar. Perfect.

He dragged Matsumoto, who by now with help from Renji and the horrible weather had sobered up slightly, into the bar.

The sign that hung over the door swung in the wind. The paint was cracked and worn, the blue looking the same grey as everything else did in the current weather. The _Falling Lotus_ didn't look its best in the rain.

He barged in the door, heaving Matsumoto behind him. The patrons looked like they had seen the devil himself and, Renji thought; when Hitsugaya was in this mood, they were almost right.

"What are you doing here?" The bartender asked in horror.

Renji panted slightly.

"He's just searched this place right? Well, he won't expect us to be here if he's already looked now will he?" he explained, plonking the woman he was carrying down on a stool.

The bartended didn't look like he was too happy with that plan but he didn't tell them to leave.

Renji slumped in a chair. The usual noises of the bar ceased. He blearily lifted his head.

"Hello Abarai."

Renji almost had a heart attack. Matsumoto fell off her stool.

"Captain Hitsugaya!" he yelped and he jumped in his seat.

"Thank you ever so for bringing my lieutenant to me Abarai. It's much appreciated." The Captain said, a tiny smirk on his lips.

Renji spluttered.

Matsumoto was staring at her captain like he was a monster.

"Matsumoto. I've been looking for you."

"H-hello C-Captain."

"You did something today. You knew it was wrong but you still did it didn't you?" he asked, eyeing her.

She nodded pitifully.

"Y-yes Captain." She said and bowed her head.

He tutted.

"Those papers were very important Matsumoto. Some were the only ones to be printed."

She winced.

"Yes sir. Sorry sir."

"One of those irreplaceable papers was especially important. It concerned you."

She jerked her head up in surprise. Her? What had she done?

"Oh yes," he carried on, apparently missing, or more likely ignoring his lieutenant's anxiousness. "Do you know what it was?"

She shook her head, biting her lip.

"It was the holiday application form you filled out last week. Approved by first division and myself. And now irretrievable." Hitsugaya looked rather smug.

Matsumoto found her mouth was wide open.

"W-what?" she spluttered. The rest of the bar was looking at them in interest, now that it seemed that there was no immediate danger of death.

"You heard me. There was another form in that pile concerning you. I believe it was a pay-rise I felt you were entitled to. I guess you're going to have to wait until the next time the pay window rolls around." He said lightly.

Renji had gotten over his shock and was trying in vain to keep his sniggering to a minimum. This was just too good!

"B-but that's at least another century away!" Matsumoto protested in horror.

Hitsugaya nodded and adjusted his facial expression to one of blatantly insincere sadness.

"Yes, I'm afraid it is. It really is a pity don't you think? If only some stupid idiot of a shinigami hadn't played such a foolish prank, you would have had a pay-rise _and_ that holiday you've been asking for." He sighed, "I was going to hunt down whoever was so stupid as to prank me and think they could get away with it, but I decided I had better come and inform you myself. Your need is greater than mine right?" he asked, eyeing her beadily.

She just spluttered incoherently.

He got a calculating look in his eye.

"However, I might be able to pull a few strings with First Division to get you that holiday..."

She perked up, looking hopeful.

"Would you sir? You're the greatest Captain!" she struggled to stand up and give him a hug but he pushed her down again. She blinked.

"Of course, you would need to do something for me. I've got some papers that need signing, you wouldn't mind doing them for me would you?"

She opened her mouth to protest but shut it again at the dangerous look in his eye.

"Sure Captain. No problem."

"And there should be a new order of recruits coming in soon. I'll need you to show them the ropes."

She almost refused right then and there. Almost.

"Yes sir, I'll get right on it sir."

He looked approving.

"Well done Lieutenant Matsumoto, I knew I could count on you." He said and extended a hand to help her up. She gripped up uncertainly and he pulled her to her feet.

She made to sit back on her stool but his deceptively innocent voice stopped her.

"But Matsumoto, haven't you got some work to be doing?"

Giving up entirely, she just nodded morosely.

"Yes sir." She trudged out of the door, flinging one last forlorn look towards Renji. Hitsugaya followed her.

Just as he was at the door, he paused.

"Abarai." His voice was sharp. Renji looked up. "If you ever try and hide from me again, you might find yourself experiencing your own personal ice age. Understand?"

Renji gulped and nodded, not trusting his mouth.

The door closed behind the small Captain and the establishment breathed a sigh of relief. Renji let his head fall with a 'thunk' onto the counter.

* * *

Weeks later, when the recruits from the Academy had graduated, Rangiku and Hitsugaya were waiting to meet the new additions to their squad. After waiting for ten minutes without a single sign of anything happening, Hitsugaya stormed off and found the roster. He perused it while keeping one eye on his lieutenant and his eyebrows creased.

"It says here," He spoke out loud, stopping Matsumoto as she attempted to climb out of the window. "That no new recruits have been placed in our division."

Matsumoto frowned.

"Why?" she asked, swinging her leg back inside.

"No idea." He said, shrugging. "Although I'm sure you can find out for me."

Pouting but remembering she was still on 'probation' as it were, she Flash Stepped out of the office.

Not two minutes after she had done so, Hitsugaya got another knock on his door. The knock almost broke the wood and revealed Kenpachi Zaraki as the caller. He had with him several trembling shinigami.

"Hitsugaya!" he bellowed, Hitsugaya raised a white eyebrow.

"Yes Captain Zaraki?"

"Do you know what's going on?" Zaraki demanded.

"Please elaborate. What exactly is happening?" Hitsugaya asked, his brow creasing.

"All divisions have a more brats than usual. You got the same problem?" Zaraki asked. Hitsugaya raised both eyebrows in surprise this time.

"No actually. It's odd, we should have met the new squad members today but no one turned up." He looked thoughtful. "I have no idea why. I just sent Matsumoto to find out."

Zaraki grunted.

"Oi kid." He addressed the shinigami who, for reasons Hitsugaya couldn't fathom, was trying to hide behind Zaraki. The big Captain seemed just as clueless. "What the hell are you doing?" when all he got as a series of unintelligible mumbles his brow twitched and he sneered. "Pathetic wimp. Well? Why are there so many of you in my division?"

Mumble mumble.

"Speak up you little brat!" Zaraki roared, evidently at the end of his short temper.

"N-no one wanted t-to g-go into the T-Tenth s-s-sir." The quivering shinigami squeaked.

Hitsugaya was aware that his jaw was most likely on the floor but right now he didn't care.

Composing himself he asked why. After glancing at Zaraki as though he was going to protect him, to which the big captain sneered, the new shinigami answered.

"T-there have b-been r-r-rumours sir. We- w-well, that i-is to s-say, they're a-all s-scared of y-y-you sir!"

"Scared of me?" Hitsugaya repeated, completely nonplussed. "Why?" He asked.

Zaraki was looking interested.

The Soul Reaper seemed to have reached the end of his courage and just mumbled and stuttered. As the taper of his excessive short fuse reached its end, Hitsugaya felt his eyebrow twitch.

"Speak up! Don't just stand there like a fool, you're speaking to a superior, act like it!" he snapped, his voice gaining volume.

The recruit gave a little cry and retreated, whimpering, behind Zaraki.

Hitsugaya gave a sound that sounded a little like a growl and the lump quivered some more.

Zaraki, while looking highly annoyed at being used as a shield by a weakling, was eyeing Hitsugaya with something that if one was looking very closely, could have resembled respect.

"Well kid, you're going up in the world!" he said and clapped his comrade on the back, almost sending him to the floor. He ignored Hitsugayas angry exclamation of his not being a kid and carried on talking.

Over an hour later, he finished and left Hitsugaya in peace, his mind spinning. Making his way robotically over to his desk and taking an absent sip of his now stone cold tea, he realised two things. One: Kenpachi Zaraki must have been some kind of deity. Less new recruits meant less paperwork. Zaraki hadn't even mentioned foisting his weaklings onto Hitsugaya. And two: Matsumoto still hadn't come back yet.

His tea freezing solid, the resulting bellow was heard through five divisions and caused several shinigami to faint. Those who didn't knew terror only Hollows had succeeded in creating before. In a bar a few miles away, Rangiku Matsumoto was confused at the sudden feeling of utter dread that filled her body.

"_Matsumoto!"_

_End_

_Yes, I know Hitsugaya can't do half the things I said he can. It SUPPOSED to be over exaggerated. That's the point. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. It was something I whipped up when I had no internet in the middle of Wales. Nice place, though I wish civilization was a bit closer._


End file.
